


come lie with my bones

by coldfeets



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Las Vegas Wedding, Let's Go Lesbians, Mixed Martial Arts, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Useless Lesbians, alphonse plays minecraft, but its greed's, everyone u kno? gay. all of them., roy mustang drinks mountain dew its not relevant but i had to say it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 05:30:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16780579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldfeets/pseuds/coldfeets
Summary: "Winry managed to look fucking superb for someone who drove like 900 miles in a day. If Lan Fan lacked self awareness she would have called it jealousy, but no, as a certified lesbian this was just stage 5 gay, prognosis: incurable."Lan Fan is an MMA fighter about to compete in her first championship fight in Las Vegas. She's also a useless lesbian with a heavyweight crush on Ling's boyfriend's best friend.





	come lie with my bones

**Author's Note:**

> Lan Fan is an MMA fighter, Ling is her manager, Fu is her coach, Ed is Ling's boyfriend, Al is a gaymer, Greed is Ling's roommate, and Winry is an engineering major who works as a welder.
> 
> this chapter is unbeta'ed and has some formatting issues that I will try and fix when I post the next chapter.
> 
> title is from girl in red's 'I wanna be your girlfriend"

Baggage claims are purgatory for the nonbelievers. This is what Lan Fan decided as she stood with the other tired eyed passengers, watching the silver conveyor spin, waiting for a glimpse of her luggage, easy to spot along with Fu & Ling’s, as they were a gift from Greed, a high-end brand he got discounted at one of his weird outlets.

She was alone at the baggage claim, because Ling saw an Auntie Anne’s pretzel and sprinted full tilt away (possibly Naruto style, but Lan Fan also was still coming off a dramamine nap, so she can’t be sure.) Fu, old man that he was, needed a bathroom as soon as possible. He wouldn’t use the one on the plane because he had a deep seated fear of his organs being sucked out of the airplane via his butt when he flushed because of some Facebook clickbait he probably read. 

The Las Vegas airport was a strange place. There were slot machines as soon as they disembarked, a smoking room next door to a Burger King, and through the windows, one side was a vast expanse of orange desert, the other a metropolitan mass of a strange assortment of buildings, the most visible of which being a solid black pyramid that was actually a hotel.

Lan Fan finally grabbed the frankly grotesque orange luggage and wheeled her way towards Ling’s last known location while thanking the heavens that Edward offered to take a few extra bags in the trunk of Alphonse’s hatchback instead of dealing with Ling’s eighty pounds of hair products herself.

Ling had already rendezvoused with her grandfather and was trying to use a tide pen to get a butter stain out of his hoodie. Slob.

Ling had arranged for them to catch an Uber to the hotel instead of having to deal with even more crowded public transport in the arid desert heat. The perks of having a manager were nice like that.

As they wheeled their way to the exits of the blessedly quiet McCarran airport, Lan Fan got out her phone to check on the other’s progress. Ling was faster however, and had dialed Edward before Lan Fan had even switched off airplane mode.

“Ed, baby, light of my life” Ling cooed while sliding his sunglasses (Gold, oversized, tacky as his boyfriend) over his face, “Where you at, hoe?”

Ling was one of those people that had no manners and talked on speakerphone in public. She wept for his mother and her wasted attempts to make him a gentleman. Not his dad though. Homophobic musty bitch needs dirt put in his CPAP.

“We’re basically at Crystal Springs but Al needed to make a _fucking detour_ to Area 51 to take pictures with a 20 ft aluminum alien sculpture.”

Lan Fan snorted as she started loading their bags into the back of the Uber.

“Ooh! Sounds hot, can you bring me a sexy little souvenir?” he said, not unlike Paris Hilton.

If she thought about it, Greed and Ling sort of were like Nichole Richie and Paris Hilton.

Lan Fan made mental comparisons the entire ride to the hotel.

* * *

When they arrived, and Ling picked up their keys, Lan Fan made a break for the hotel room at the pace of a middle aged woman looking for a coffee maker on Black Friday. She had been thinking about the shower she was going to take the entire time she was conscious on the airplane. She had her ziplock of toiletries out within seconds of opening her door.

_Fucking hell, rich people have got it nice._

Lan Fan had always known that, to some degree, based on what she had seen of Ling’s side of the family, and some of Greed’s boyfriends. It was mostly overshadowed with distaste however at the opulence of the upper class. Except for showers, apparently. Lan Fan decided that in the revolution fancy showers would be spared.

The Cosmopolitan hotel’s deluxe suite showers were, as Ling would say, sexy. 

The mirrors were illuminated with LED strips built into them. The floors shined like a slippery impending lawsuit. The bathtub, Japanese style, had a window with a view out to the Vegas strip. 

But the shower.

Lan Fan groaned aloud when she looked at the shower. The stale recycled air of the plane’s cabin, the smell of the people nearby, the terrible airport food, the 4AM wakeup and TSA lines all melted away when she flipped that bitch on. 

She was out of her sweats in seconds and a heartbeat away from her spirit busting a nut by the time she got to shampoo.

Lan Fan sighed over dramatically as she finished washing herself and dedicated the next few minutes of her life to the pure primitive bliss of hot water.

Vegas, she decided, was not so bad.

* * *

When she emerged, a new creature, free of the sins of mankind, wrapped in a robe and wearing slippers, wearing a pore strip. She checked a text she got from Winry while in the shower.

Winry: _decided 2 leave the fkn losers n their nerd shit. will be at ur hotel in like an hour._

Lan Fan checked the time on the text. 53 min before. Shit. She wanted to look cute when Winry got here, not like an old man on his way to a sauna. 

Lan Fan got back to the bathroom and started trying to comb out the wet snarls of her hair when a knock came to the door. Ling was inconvenient like that. She marched over to the door and threw it open, comb still embedded in her hair, Biore strip still on her nose.

It was not Ling. It was Winry, because Lan Fan’s life was a joke and Winry broke speed limits like they were friendly suggestions.

Winry, however, managed to look fucking superb for someone who drove like 900 miles in a day. If Lan Fan lacked self awareness she would have called it jealousy, but no, as a certified lesbian this was just stage 5 gay, prognosis: incurable.

Winry blinked at her, taking in the state Lan Fan was in curiously.

“Hey,” she said, coming in and plopping down on the chair as Lan Fan struggled to wrestle her hair once more. She misses having an all over buzzcut instead of the undercut bob thing she has going on now. But a lack of bangs did her no favors, making her look more like an egg or Caillou than a cool goth butch.

The comb was now stuck.

“…You want some help with that?” Winry asked after a second. Lan Fan nodded once, comb flopping and smacking her in the eye.

Winry pressed her lips together like she was trying not to smile as she steered Lan Fan back to the bathroom. Lan Fan sat down on the lid of the toilet and huffed, irritated.

Winry positioned herself in front of Lan Fan and started untangling the comb from her bangs, gifting Lan Fan with sight, piece by piece.

Lan Fan didn’t think she wanted her sight back though. Winry was leaned over her in such a way that 80% of her field of vision was of Winry’s chest.

Lan Fan did not think of herself as a boob woman. She was, however, very into women, very into Winry, and possessing two eyes and the crucial wisdom of another brave lesbian, a former Invicta fighting champion, Olivier Armstrong, who once said, sagely, “The world is hard and cold. Tiddy warm and soft.”

Lan Fan was really feeling the truth of that right now. She knew she had to be the color of a radish right now as she tried to look anywhere else. Winry, most likely oblivious to the struggle of an age beneath her, freed the comb with a hum. 

Lan Fan thought she would be freed then. Foolish.

Winry began combing her hair, running her fingers through it to tousle it dry. Lan Fan felt like a cat, but with the underlying sexual tenseness of no nut November all over again.

It felt _so good_. Winry’s nails were short and filed, Lan Fan presumed because of her work. They scraped over her scalp, working in tandem with the teeth of the comb.

It felt good enough that Lan Fan checked her brain at the door and lost all agency over the workings of her mouth and body as she slouched against Winry and groaned. 

Winry huffed a laugh and tied her hair back with an oversized scrunchie (pink, very Forever 21.) She massaged at Lan Fan’s temples with her strong hands for a blissful moment before switching to her neck. Apparently Fu was onto something when he talked about chakras, because Lan Fan suddenly launched her head back when Winry started pressing on the sides of her neck, almost head bashing the mechanic in the nose.

Winry grinned at that.

“Someone was tense.”

“Hnnnnrggg,” Lan Fan said, eloquently, staring up at the blonde, devoid of all higher brain processes.

Winry had a lovely, soft face. She looked like a Regency era painting in the lights of the bathroom, peach skin and long neck, button nose and bright blue eyes. Her bangs looked frizzy like she had been out in the rain and her ears were pink. Lan Fan was close enough she could see the freckles on the bridge of her nose, the lilac veins of her eyelids. The brunettes eyes drew lower, to her mouth, with its pronounced cupids bow and slightly fuller lower lip, wondering if her lips would taste like the eos she was always applying. 

Lan Fan flicked her eyes back up to the other girl’s, and found her staring back. She had slowed her movements on her neck, and was essentially just holding her neck as she gazed at Lan Fan.

Ling, of course, chose then, to bust in.

“Hey did you remember to pack any-” Ling started, marching right in and pausing mid sentence as he looked at Lan Fan frozen on the toilet, Winry with her eyes shut as if all the staring exhausted her.

“I’ll just go check with Fu,” Ling said, backing out at a superhuman speed.

Whatever the moment was however, had passed, and Winry jerked her hands away and stood up straighter as Lan Fan mentally mourned her own existence.

“I’ve gotta go, uh, get to the other hotel and get checked in,” Winry said, jerking her hand behind her towards the door.

“ ‘Kay,” Lan Fan said faintly as Winry herself made her way out.

She looked back at the brunette on her way out.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” Winry said with a small smile.

Lan Fan grunted in affirmation as Winry exited and she wondered to herself what the fuck just happened.

**Author's Note:**

> Lan Fan, Useless Lesbian but She Has Big Muscles
> 
> I'm gonna try and update this again before Christmas but no promises.
> 
> find me on tumblr @lesbianalphonse and ill tell u every spoiler
> 
> Thank you to my tumblr mutuals who made me actually write this
> 
> Next up: Bedsharing owo?


End file.
